Health and Psychology

I used to walk three miles to the ice cream store with a friend when I was 8. I used to build things and played stick ball with the boys on my block in the middle of the street starting when I was in preschool. I still remember my childhood and the idea that I could create anything that I wanted. The kids that are sheltered, homeschooled, and given nothing but prearranged play activities are hampered in all aspects of their adult life.

I have an animal model for this.  My cat Tatum came with instructions.  She was NEVER to go outside.  It was dangerous.  She was NEVER to eat seafood.  It wasn't natural.  She was microchipped.  We needed to watch over her and make sure she had a constant supply of food and absolutely pristine litter.  Oh my.  How in the world had kittens and cats ever survived all this time without all these safety precautions in place.  In addition Tatum was a "medically fragile" cat that needed specialized medical care.  Without it she might "die."  I was told she had been "picked on" by other cats at the cat rescue.  I think I followed the rules for the first 3 months she lived here.  After that I decided she was living in cat hell.  She was fearful of everything and living on the floor of the house most of the time.  

I decided I wanted a confident cat.  I put her in a harness and dragged her outside.  After a period of a bit over a year she could tolerate it.  I stopped the medication and she's no worse for it.  In fact she seems healthier. She eats a variety of poultry, seafood, and beef.  On occasion the cat food bowl becomes empty and she comes and gets me without panic.  And she started changing inside the house and acting more confident.  She began exploring the house.  She balanced on the banister of the second story landing. She made animal friends that came to the patio door.  The explored the area over the kitchen cabinets.  Then one day Moochie appeared.  Moochie is an american-shorthair, Siamese cat that is all white with orange ears and tail also known as a flame-point.  And Moochie, was missing kittens.  The majority of the neighbors on the block with young cats didn't let her meet their kittens.  But she and Tatum got along just fine through the patio door.  So one day I opened the door and she and Tatum met each other.  A week or so later Moochie ventured indoors. A month later she was eating Tatum's food and using her litter box.  Three months later she stayed. Tatum goes outside with Moochie.  She explores the yard.  She bounces all around the garden.  In the house she's confident, unafraid, and chases Moochie.  Moochie can come and go as she pleases, but I think she's left her prior home for good.

I'm meeting children and teens as well as young adults that are being raised like Tatum was at the rescue Their time is constantly supervised.  It's overly structured.  They can't get a splinter without it being declared a "medical emergency" and they have little imagination and no mastery skills to speak of.  As beginning clinicians being raised in this environment of "evidence-based treatments" and ethical "rules" that are exceptionally confining, they can barely tolerate being with a client because they are so fearful.  "It's a person. You've talked to people before.  You know how to do this.  Imagine you're at Starbucks.  Chat with them.  You can't screw it up that badly."  But I'm a lone voice in the wilderness with a lot of competing voices.  A former supervisee worked at a clinic and was taught how not to do therapy.  I met with her.  She was sad, constricted and lacking confidence.  "Oh my!  What happened to you?" I asked. She explained the constant criticism, the "raised issues of concern" about ethics, the squashing of creativity, and the damage from the constrictive supervision in a rule based environment.  I have three rules.  1.  Let me know what you are doing.  2.  Like your client if at all possible.  3.  Help them fix their issues.  She's getting better.  It will take a year to undo the damage that was previously done.  She's starting to get creative and her confidence is coming back little by little.

If only other employers, supervisors, parents or even cat owners could do the same, we'd have much more fun, self confident employees, supervisees, children and of course...cats.