Health and Psychology

A couple of friends and I were supposed to get together tonight.  We do this about once every 2 to 3 months.  It's nice and relaxing.  Nothing much changes.  We talk about our lives.  It's low to no drama.  But today, things got postponed and we're still tweaking schedules.  And I was looking forward to it.  So I'm sad.  So I went shopping for some needed work clothes.  Tried about 50 things on and bought three.  I had sales people tell me I was wonderful, looked great and was smart.  I had someone tell me I was too big for a size 10 and someone else tell me I was too small for a size 10. I had someone try to sell me a blouse large enough for a family of four to go camping in.

In a completely different context I had someone tell me I was stupid, insensitive, and should mind my own business.  I had someone else tell me I was thoughtless.  Another told me I was thoughtful.  If I tried to listen and believe what I was told by people each day, it would be difficult to figure out who I am.

We get tons of messages every day from people telling us who we are.  The messages aren't generally about us.  They are about the people that send them.  We get to choose which message to acknowledge and what to let in.  If some crazy guy screamed things at me, I wouldn't be inclined to believe what he said.  So I can choose what I want to listen to, to take in, acknowledge, and believe as well with people I know.  Yes it can go too far, and if everyone is saying the same thing you might need to take stock, but in general it's not so much about you.

Therapy teaches people methods to cope.  You can change your thoughts and behaviors to change your feelings.  You can look for the reasons why some statements impact you while others don't.  You can learn a wide variety of coping skills, some helpful like meditation, mindfulness, acceptance and commitment, listening to music, doing art, distracting yourself in some fashion.  Or interacting with people that enrich you.  That helps give you a choice about how to respond, or even if you should respond at all.  After all it's about them.

If you need help coping, feel free to contact one of my psychological assistants.  If you need help coping with a medical issue or medical symptoms, feel free to contact me.